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Saturday, April 30, 2005
PRIDE AND PRETENCE
Pride: Pride arises because I am doubtful about my qualifications. I do not seem to accept myself as one who is qualified. The demand upon other for recognition shows that I need some support so that I can feel that I am somebody. This demand comes from an inner sense of emptiness, a lack of readiness to accept myself as I am because I secretly fear that what I am not good enough. Although I assert my qualifications, I am really all too conscious of my limitations and am afraid to acknowledge limitations or have them recognized by others. I do not want a response from others to my limitations but only to my qualifications and, not just to my qualifications but to my qualifications in the glorified light in which I view them.
Demand for Respect Leads to Hurt: Hurt is the usual end result of the demand for respect. Hurt is possible only when there is a bloated ego . Any form of hurt if analysed, is found to be only pride, inflated ego. Inflated ego is a disproportionate, excessive significance attached to what I know, what I feel, what I possess, what I do, how I look. With this overemphasis on a Knower-doer-I comes the expectation of a response from others recognizing my importance seeing me as I want to be seen. When that response does not come, it hurts. There is proverb which says that a wounded heart is like a monkey’s wound – it does not heal but only gets reopened.
Qualifications should speak for themselves: It is fine to have abilities and to use them; but abilities should be allowed to speak for themselves. My attitude towards my accomplishments should be like a flowering bush towards its blossoms. In the city or in the wilderness, seen or unseen, praised or unpraised, the bush puts forth its blooms. No publicity circulars are sent out to announce the blooming. Whether appreciated by someone or not, the blossoms come forth, colourful and fragrant. The bush simply blooms because it is meant to bloom. It asks no respect and claims no glory. It blooms because bloom it must. Pride is born because I do not understand the nature of accomplishments. I claim the honor for my accomplishments because I consider myself the author of the acts, the producers of skills or gifts. It does not take much analysis to smash this illusion. When I look at achievement, I find that it is there because of certain opportunities I had, as well as because of my personal effort. I cannot claim to have created or commanded the opportunities; they were given to me. I happened to find myself in the right circumstances so I could grow and learn from what I needed to learn. I met with the right person; I happened to read the right book; I enjoyed the right company; someone came forward with the right guidance at the right time. Therefore, there is no place for Pride when I see the nature of accomplishment for what it is. For whatever abilities I seem to have I should be grateful. My demand for respect from others will go away when I see its foolishness.
How can I help myself see the foolishness of Pride?: If I assume the position of a dispassionate analyst, ready to spot and analyse Pride every time it pops up, recognize it for what it is at the time it appears, examine it carefully then it will begin to lose its value. To be effective, I must conduct my analysis of Pride without self-condemnation or regret: just try to see things as they are. When someone fails to respond to me in the way in which I would have them respond, I just watch my own reactions without further reaction. From the position of the observer, I see the senselessness of my expectations in all their absurdity; in addition, I see that what I really want is not an expression of respect from others for its own sake but because I hope that such an expression will make me feel more comfortable about myself. I see that my real problem is my basic feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt which is made worse, not better, by harboring Pride. Just a careful, dispassionate analysis of the source of my skills and abilities and of the history of any achievements I claim will erase the ego, will knock off prideful claim that I am entitled to credit for some achievement.
Pretence: Pretence is a mental attitude which results in an expression quite similar to the expression of Pride, namely, it manifests self-glorification. However, between the two the foundation for expression differs. Pride’s conceit is an expression based on real achievements and abilities; whereas the claim to fame caused by Pretence stems from pretended or fabricated accomplishments and abilities. Pretence means feigning. One who claims achievements that are not his or pretends to possess abilities which he does not have is pretender.
What causes Pretence: Pretence arises because I do not feel good about myself. There is no way to compel others to respond favourably to my accomplishments, whether the accomplishments are real or fancied. Pretence is particularly absurd because it is able to bring even less comfort than Pride to the mind which harbours it, but instead brings a big load of tension. A mind committed to falsehood cannot be a happy, quiet mind available for learning. A mind which expresses Pretence is non-receptive to the teaching of Vedanta. When I suffer from Pretence, I do not accept myself but, instead, commit myself to an image I know is false, whereas the whole teaching of Vedanta is to own up myself as I am. To be ready for the study of Vedanta, I should be able to accept myself just as I think I am and be willing to present myself to others as I am. I may like myself as I am but at the same time have a strong desire to find absolute freedom not subject to the limitations that seem to bind me. I should be free of self-condemnation. I should simply like myself but long to be free.
Simplicity: When Pretence goes, the mind will enjoy the state of simplicity, the absence of phoniness, the absence of hypocrisy and pretence. With such a mind I become a real person. A real person is a simple person. The complex person is a false person. A simple person may not be without problems. He may get angry. He may make mistakes. However, in his simplicity and straightforwardness he is able to get rid of his anger, to learn from his reactions. For the false fellow committed to pretence there is no learning – only hiding and tension. No scripture and no master can help a person with a mind ruled by pride and pretence; a mind which is simple and factual is the kind of mind which is ready to discover the truth of self.
Demand for Respect Leads to Hurt: Hurt is the usual end result of the demand for respect. Hurt is possible only when there is a bloated ego . Any form of hurt if analysed, is found to be only pride, inflated ego. Inflated ego is a disproportionate, excessive significance attached to what I know, what I feel, what I possess, what I do, how I look. With this overemphasis on a Knower-doer-I comes the expectation of a response from others recognizing my importance seeing me as I want to be seen. When that response does not come, it hurts. There is proverb which says that a wounded heart is like a monkey’s wound – it does not heal but only gets reopened.
Qualifications should speak for themselves: It is fine to have abilities and to use them; but abilities should be allowed to speak for themselves. My attitude towards my accomplishments should be like a flowering bush towards its blossoms. In the city or in the wilderness, seen or unseen, praised or unpraised, the bush puts forth its blooms. No publicity circulars are sent out to announce the blooming. Whether appreciated by someone or not, the blossoms come forth, colourful and fragrant. The bush simply blooms because it is meant to bloom. It asks no respect and claims no glory. It blooms because bloom it must. Pride is born because I do not understand the nature of accomplishments. I claim the honor for my accomplishments because I consider myself the author of the acts, the producers of skills or gifts. It does not take much analysis to smash this illusion. When I look at achievement, I find that it is there because of certain opportunities I had, as well as because of my personal effort. I cannot claim to have created or commanded the opportunities; they were given to me. I happened to find myself in the right circumstances so I could grow and learn from what I needed to learn. I met with the right person; I happened to read the right book; I enjoyed the right company; someone came forward with the right guidance at the right time. Therefore, there is no place for Pride when I see the nature of accomplishment for what it is. For whatever abilities I seem to have I should be grateful. My demand for respect from others will go away when I see its foolishness.
How can I help myself see the foolishness of Pride?: If I assume the position of a dispassionate analyst, ready to spot and analyse Pride every time it pops up, recognize it for what it is at the time it appears, examine it carefully then it will begin to lose its value. To be effective, I must conduct my analysis of Pride without self-condemnation or regret: just try to see things as they are. When someone fails to respond to me in the way in which I would have them respond, I just watch my own reactions without further reaction. From the position of the observer, I see the senselessness of my expectations in all their absurdity; in addition, I see that what I really want is not an expression of respect from others for its own sake but because I hope that such an expression will make me feel more comfortable about myself. I see that my real problem is my basic feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt which is made worse, not better, by harboring Pride. Just a careful, dispassionate analysis of the source of my skills and abilities and of the history of any achievements I claim will erase the ego, will knock off prideful claim that I am entitled to credit for some achievement.
Pretence: Pretence is a mental attitude which results in an expression quite similar to the expression of Pride, namely, it manifests self-glorification. However, between the two the foundation for expression differs. Pride’s conceit is an expression based on real achievements and abilities; whereas the claim to fame caused by Pretence stems from pretended or fabricated accomplishments and abilities. Pretence means feigning. One who claims achievements that are not his or pretends to possess abilities which he does not have is pretender.
What causes Pretence: Pretence arises because I do not feel good about myself. There is no way to compel others to respond favourably to my accomplishments, whether the accomplishments are real or fancied. Pretence is particularly absurd because it is able to bring even less comfort than Pride to the mind which harbours it, but instead brings a big load of tension. A mind committed to falsehood cannot be a happy, quiet mind available for learning. A mind which expresses Pretence is non-receptive to the teaching of Vedanta. When I suffer from Pretence, I do not accept myself but, instead, commit myself to an image I know is false, whereas the whole teaching of Vedanta is to own up myself as I am. To be ready for the study of Vedanta, I should be able to accept myself just as I think I am and be willing to present myself to others as I am. I may like myself as I am but at the same time have a strong desire to find absolute freedom not subject to the limitations that seem to bind me. I should be free of self-condemnation. I should simply like myself but long to be free.
Simplicity: When Pretence goes, the mind will enjoy the state of simplicity, the absence of phoniness, the absence of hypocrisy and pretence. With such a mind I become a real person. A real person is a simple person. The complex person is a false person. A simple person may not be without problems. He may get angry. He may make mistakes. However, in his simplicity and straightforwardness he is able to get rid of his anger, to learn from his reactions. For the false fellow committed to pretence there is no learning – only hiding and tension. No scripture and no master can help a person with a mind ruled by pride and pretence; a mind which is simple and factual is the kind of mind which is ready to discover the truth of self.
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